1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't
blame you for ignoring me.
2. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I
still want you right now!
3. This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang
4. Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wetspot.
5. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my
6. That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to
watch pornos again?
7. I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby-
8. You're my daddy! You're my daddy!
9. The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her
over for dinner on Friday.
10. Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl?
11. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on
fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field
goal they'll still cover.
12. Bar food again!? Kick ass.
13. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your
ex-girlfriend has class.
14. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm
gonna go over and talk to her.
15. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell
16. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the
old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!
17. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times,
then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you
19. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple
20. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of
Chuck's bare ass!
21. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order
another round for you and your friends.
22. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll
ever change it again.
23. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and
scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again,
ya' big silly!
24. You are so much smarter than my father.
25. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me