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Subject: FW: SALARY INCREASE  from achoo

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labour

* I work at great depths

* I work head first

* I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays

* I work in a damp environment

* I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties

* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation

* I work in high temperatures

* My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Response from Human Resources:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reason:

* You do not work 8 hours straight

* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods

* You do not always follow the orders of the management team

* You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas

* You take a lot of non-rostered breaks

* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working

* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift

* You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits

* You don't wait till pension age before retiring

* You don't like working double shifts

* You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work

* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags!