Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday.
The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth to describe you.
Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what
you buy and what you watch on television.
Well, The Dilbert Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: Simply by using
your department or job title, we have you all figured out.....
MARKETING
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
socializing which is essentially what your job responsibilities are
now. You are least compatible with Sales.
SALES
Most annoying of all signs, you are often referred to as "marketing
without a degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless
someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you avoid contact
with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek
admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content
to completely control everything that happens at your work place. Often
YOU don't even understand what you are saying, but who can tell? It is
written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING
One of the only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said
that 90% of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy
with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest "ergo
dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your
"carpal tunnel."
ACCOUNTING
The only other sign that studied in school (because you were too socially
retarded to do otherwise), you are mostly immune from office politics.
You are the most feared person in the organization. This combined with
your extremist organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning
you say that you are completely insane.
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a Fifty-Cent cab ride from taking your
own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little
cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer
Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to
sleep with your manager.
HUMAN RESOURCES
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be
the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person
that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls
today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/ DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/TEAM LEADERS
Catty, cut-throat, completely spineless, you are destined to remain at
your
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision
you
tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for
yourself. Best suited to marry other Middle Managers as everyone in your
social circle is a Middle Manager.
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